Forget That I Remember, and Dream That I Forget

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My Table

Claim: The Professionals ~ Bodie/Doyle 
Title: Forget That I Remember, and Dream That I Forget
Author: Pamela Rose
Prompt: 14: Loss
Rating: NC-17
Length: Epic
Brief summary: Bodie loses his memory in an accident and goes back to the life he knows, as a mercenary in the jungle. Not knowing what happened, Doyle goes after him.... This is my favorite fic by this great writer, and my favorite "amnesia" story.
 

It was nearly dawn by the time they settled their bedrolls down as far from the pool as possible. But neither of them could sleep.

Doyle lay and watched the stars fade and the sky slip from black to grey. It was the strange half-light of not-quite-morning. A waiting time, as if the world had stopped for a moment, unwilling to go forward or back.

"It could've been one of us, y'know," he said softly, almost to himself. "As easy as not. It didn't have to be him."

Odell was a few yards away, turned on his side, back to Doyle. "Yes, it did. It's always blokes like him that buy it."

Doyle looked over at him, startled. The voice had been harsh, as hard as the rocks they had made into a cairn for Oddy.

"Why do you say that?"

The shoulder moved slightly, a half-shrug, a dismissal. "Forget it."

"No, tell me."

"Because it's true, that's why. He was harmless. Could hardly pull the trigger on his own bloody pistol, did you know that? I doubt if he could've even killed the damn snakes."

"That doesn't explain why it had to be him. Why not one of us?"

"Because we're survivors, mate. We live, they die. That's the way it is. The way it's always been."

"That doesn't make sense. We've both almost died before. What's the difference?"

"The difference is, we didn't."

Link to the story: Forget That I Remember, and Dream That I Forget